Just as I was getting off aol I got a blurb from them, which I have gotten a few times, asking me to click to upgrade to 9.1 (I have 9.0 now). I did that a while back and didn't like the 9.1. Should I try it again now? What do you think?
AOL 9.1 is the same as it ever was. The update does change some things in order to make the experience more similar to what everybody else is using (e.g., changing the mailbox to work more like other email inboxes, making the sign-in process somewhat optional, etc). If using 9.1 was uncomfortable then, it will probably be uncomfortable now.
The good news is that while AOL does recommend you upgrade, they don't force you to. There aren't any differences in terms of security and safety, so it isn't necessary to make the upgrade.
The bad news is that this will not be the case forever. Eventually, the new AOL format will become entrenched, and every new version will use it. There will be some security measure that they won't be able to implement in 9.0, and make everybody upgrade. For now though, this isn't the case.
You have a couple of options.
The first is to keep AOL 9.0. If you don't have 9.0VR, try downloading a copy of that. It may give you the option not to bother you about upgrading, if you don't have that option already.
Alternatively, you can try the upgrade again, this time keeping in mind that this is the direction AOL is going in and try to be patient with it. A lot of general questions about it (which might make you more comfortable with the switch) are asked and answered here.
You can use the new AOL 9.5, which is in the testing process and isn't released to the public yet. It's not a polished package yet, and is on the cutting edge (at least to AOL standards), so I'm not sure that it will be any better. You can pick up a test copy here.
Finally, you can try AOL Desktop 10.1 (which is actually an entirely different product). It is a further departure from what you're used to, but it may end up being more comfortable for you to use. It's the result of AOL designing a new product from the ground up, without restricting itself to the same interface as all the other AOL versions. You can find the page to download it here.
AOL has set up a page that compares the last two options here.
I can't really make a recommendation based on my own experience, because I don't use AOL. If I could make any recommendation I wanted, I would say to forget about the AOL software entirely. It's an old dinosaur, an artifact left over from the age when dial-up was still around and web browser development was in its infancy. It's big, bloated, and slow. AOL Mail can be accessed quite quickly by going to mail.aol.com from any browser (or by using one of the many much better mail checking programs), and instant messaging (if you're into that) can be had as a standalone application. Gavi used to be big on AOL. She threw it away and never looked back. The switch is seamless, and you can even keep the old AOL around for the beginning as to ease your fears of stepping into the unknown. Eventually, you can uninstall the AOL software so that it isn't running in the background, 24/7 (even when you're not signed on and the browser is closed) and free up your system memory.
Unfortunately, I don't think that's the kind of recommendation you're looking for, so all I can say is to look at your options and choose which one you feel suits you best. At any rate, no decision is permanent, and you can always uninstall and reinstall whichever version you want no matter how many times you change your mind.
